Humanity's · Demise

Unless you count the glut of "festivities" in Las Vegas (for which I was thankfully far removed), the New Year has been exceptionally and wondrously quiet. I particularly enjoy spending the holidays at undisclosed locations to better acquaint myself with the inner workings of local politics. Fascinating. As usual, I expected to find nothing out-of-order when I returned "home," and as usual, I wasn't disappointed.

Consistency is so thrilling.

These networked logs are a poor attempt at a socialization exercise. While I suppose I can recognize the value of establishing camaraderie through unpunished, collective bitching, I’d rather have these primarily utilized as detailed records keeping instruments. Gets everyone in the habit of filling in the requisite paperwork ahead of time and provides an index of traceable information—in the event of a “mistake.”

My team should thus make a point in checking here for locked mission specifics. Make sure you always have the associated maps, architectural plans and photographs downloaded, memorized, or otherwise secured.

( ”Private” )

Beta Team: I’d like you to each submit to me one goal, one driving force behind why you’re here and why your personal success is imperative. We’ll go from there.

My latest training session with Beta Team’s leader has unfortunately rendered him unfit for duty. As a result, I am henceforth assuming his role as team leader and am more than certain the transition will be a smooth one.

I hope that my team is perfectly aware that the body suffers when filled with all the miserable shit the Strip has to offer. Take your regulation vitamins and drink approximately 16 ounces of skim milk a day or someone will systematically apply force to your bone’s weak points.  I’d really hate for another “training accident” to occur; have you heard the noise of a femur snapping?

Beta Team: you may direct any new inquiries to me and I will answer them at my discretion. Prepare for training tonight at precisely 9 p.m., compound B. Bring 1 gallon of milk and wear light combat gear.